POLITICALLY CORRECT DIVORCE AGREEMENT. We the People some Conservative others Liberals, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common Defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, Be it Known that all American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, righties and Conservatives, have stuck together since the 1950′s, 60′s, 70′s, and 80′s, and for the sake of the kids, has caused a realization that Divorce is apparently necessary for the common good. Knowingly we tolerated each other for too many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. As Liberals and Conservatives, with our opposite ideologies within America seemingly will never agree on what is right for all of US, therefore let’s be Politically Correct and Divorce, on terms that are relatively friendly. Lets smile and chalk it all up to Irreconcilable Differences and go our opposite ways.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/nwh5781qxx3rqia/POLITICALLY%20%20CORRECT%20%20DIVORCE%20%20AGREEMENT.pdf
Property Settlement and Ideology Separation Agreement
By all these presence, Liberals, Conservatives, and everyone in between, each with their separate and distinct ideologies, may equitably divide the country by Landmass each taking a similar equitable portion, the difficult part, but surely the two sides can come to a friendly agreement. Thereafter, our respective representatives may effortlessly and equitably divide all the other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate points of view
• Conservatives don’t like redistributive taxes, so each Tax will be immediately repealed
• Liberals may Redistribute themselves into oblivion and Tax themselves to Death, and of course Tax after their Death
• Conservatives may retain their firearms, Police, NRA, and the Military, since Liberals hate Guns, Law & Order, War
• Liberals can Proceed with their Wind Energy, Solar Energy, and BioDiesel, hopefully Liberals don’t Freeze in Winter
• Conservatives may retain the nasty, smelly Oil, Gas, Petroleum industries, Coal, Shale mines, and Nuclear Power
• Liberals may keep Oprah, Michael Moore, Rosie O’Donnell, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Jane Hanoi Fonda; However, responsible for finding bio-diesel vehicles big enough to move them
• Conservatives may retain Capitalism, Big Greedy Corporations, Pharmaceuticals, Wal-Mart, Main and Wall Streets
• Liberals may retain their Welfare dwellers, Food Stampers, Homeless, Homeboys, Hippies, Druggies, Illegal Aliens
• Conservatives may retain the hot Alaskan hockey moms, all the greedy CEO’s and Rednecks
• Liberals may retain NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNBC, NPR
• Conservatives may retain their Bibles, Churches, FOX News, and keep Neal Cavuto, Megan Kelly and Bill O’Reilly
• Liberals may make nice with Iran, Iraq, the Radical Muslims and Palestine
• Conservatives may retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten US
• Liberals may Have, Hold and Feed the Peaceniks and War Protesters
• Conservatives may retain their Judeo-Christian values
• Liberals are welcome to embrace Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, Shirley McClain, retain the UN
• Conservatives may keep their SUV’s, Pickups, Trucks and oversized Luxury cars.
Liberals can take all the Chevy Volts and Leafs they can find, Good luck charging them with their Wind & Solar
• Conservatives may celebrate the "Pledge of Allegiance" the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "National Anthem"
• Liberals may give everyone Health Care, assuming they have any Money left, and can find any Medical Doctors
• Conservatives may continue to practice Trickle Down Economics
• Liberals may continue to give Trickle Up Poverty their best shot
• Conservatives may keep American History, its Name, retain the English Language, Christmas, US Flag, since these oftentimes offend Liberals
• Liberals are welcome to all the Lefty Judges, Senators, Liberal House Representatives, the ACLU, and ACORN
• Conservatives, No one will ever have to press "1" for English when calling anyone in the Conservative Country
With all our Deliberations on this Subject, we kept steadily in our view that which appears to us the greatest interest of every true American, the consolidation of our Union, in which is involved our prosperity, felicity, safety, perhaps our national existence. This important consideration, seriously and deeply impressed on our minds, led each State in the Convention to be less rigid on points of inferior magnitude than might have been otherwise expected; and thus, the Constitution as amended, which we now present is the result of a spirit of amity, and of that mutual deference and concession, which the peculiarity of our political situation rendered indispensable.
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